It was with great excitement and expectation that I planted my little garden. It wasn't much. Just a few of my favorite vegetables. A row of carrots, another of lettuce, a few carefully sculpted mounds planted with zucchini, yellow squash and cucumber seeds. It was an experiment as I had never attempted to plant a garden before. I knew that with my track record of killing house plants that there was a high chance of failure for this little veggie patch. And yet, I had high hopes.
Within a couple weeks of planting the seeds, everything looked good. Tiny plants were beginning to sprout from the ground. I was filled with an overwhelming sense of pride and accomplishment at the site of those little bits of green life.
The lettuce was the first casualty. Just a couple of weeks after showing those first signs of life, my lettuce just sort of vanished. It was there one day, and the next it was gone. Well, to be honest I am not entirely sure it was the next day. It may have been a couple of days. Or perhaps three. I was doing really good at watering the garden, but then it rained for several days and I didn't need to water it. Then the rain stopped for a few days and I had gotten so accustomed to not watering that I kind of forgot to do it. Somehow the lettuce mysteriously disappeared after that.
The next veggie to fall victim was the carrots. After the sad loss of my lettuce, I made sure to water the garden every single day. I watered it a lot. I mean there were days that I left the sprinkler on for hours. Those carrots were so well watered that they even had a standing pool of water in their row of the garden. My kids didn't get to swim as often as my carrots did. And yet, somehow, the carrots mysteriously disappeared as well.
Now it was just the zucchini, squash and cucumbers left in my little garden. They had survived the natural disaster knows as a drought and thanks to those hills they were planted in, they survived the monsoon as well. I continued to water each day and for only about thirty minutes to an hour, depending on how badly the sun was blazing down. The remainder of my veggies were doing quite well. Then one day, I went outside and the zucchini was laying down totally mangled. They had fallen victim to a phenomenon known as rodents. I believe the rodents were of the bunny kind.
I really had meant to put up a nice fence around my little garden, but then on the way to the store I was passing Sonic and since it was happy hour I couldn't just drive by without stopping for half priced drinks. I think there might actually be a law against that, and in the words of the great Bill Murray, "it's a federal law too, it's not just a state thing". Of course once in the Sonic parking lot it seemed a shame to simply order drinks. I mean they do have fantastic onion rings, but you can't eat onion rings without getting an extra long cheese coney! And well, I couldn't just order food for myself when I had the kids in the car. I mean, I could have but it would have been kinda cruel and might have caused a mutiny. So two extra long cheese coneys, an order of onion rings, an order of popcorn chicken, a cheeseburger, two orders of tots and four half priced drinks later... I suddenly realized I no longer had the money to buy the fence for the garden. I figured it would be ok though. I had never actually seen bunnies in our yard before. Turns out that once you plant tasty veggies, the bunnies feel sort of invited in for a feast. Who knew?
After the death of the poor zucchini, I was much more vigilant and put up some borders around the garden and continued to faithfully water, but not too much, the garden. The squash and cucumbers were both bursting with flowers. It was a good sign. They were doing well and would soon be bearing delicious veggies.
Everything looked so good and was so close to actually producing real food that I kinda thought they would be okay for just a couple of days while we went out of town. I mean, I did consider the idea of asking the neighbor to water them while we were gone. I know she would have. It was only two days and I watered really well before we left and it was supposed to rain. It was only two little days. How was I supposed to know they would be the two hottest days of the year??? So we arrived home to another veggie death. Guess even the healthiest of veggie plants can't survive 110 degree weather with no rain.
I gave that little garden all I had. At least I did on the days I remembered to water it. And on the days I didn't forget that the sprinkler was on until six hours later. And when I belatedly put up a border to keep out the wildlife. And when I was actually home to take care of them and wasn't relying on the weather man to actually be right for once.
I am really sad that my veggies didn't make it! I had such high hopes.
Well, at least I have Sonic happy hour.
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