The trial separation is ending. Hub is going to come back home. I honestly don't give a crap one way or another about the marriage. I need him here though. Not for me, but for Tot. I can't do the single parent thing. Not with this kid. He is too high maintenance. I just can't raise him alone. I feel like a bad mom so many times because I just get frustrated with him and end up yelling at him to shut up and go away and leave me alone. I hate that I do that and I try not to. But until you've dealt with a kid like him.... you just don't know how hard it is. Nothing ever sinks in. He doesn't learn from his mistakes and doesn't seem to be able to determine right from wrong. I guess he truly is his father's son.
My depression continues. I just want to escape it all for a little while. I'd love a vacation where I could be totally alone. Maybe not totally alone..... just without the family. Of course then I would be alone because I have no friends. Depressing!
