I have once again let the pressure of giving at Christmas take me deeper into a financial hole. It makes me feel so good to give to people. Then I am left with this horrible feeling of failure for not being able to stay afloat afterwards.
I am seriously sinking here. I thought I had money coming from Hubs. He had told me he would put money in my bank account. Thinking that, I went ahead and withdrew $200 that wasn't in there to buy Christmas gifts. I ended up with a $35 overdraft charge and then because I didn't bring the account into the positive within a week I got another $35 charged for an EXTENDED overdraft fee! Now I am $270 in the hole with no way to bring the account back up unless we don't eat for a month.
I felt so good on Christmas morning watching my kids enjoy their gifts!
Now I feel like a total loser because I am feeding them peanut butter and jelly, and macNcheese every night.
Life sucks no matter what I do. I am falling into a really bad depression right now. REALLY REALLY bad!
1 comment:
I'm so sorry that you're not feeling well, Rocki. I know the feeling of not having enough money and it totally sucks.
It also makes me wanna slap well-off people who chirp... "yeah, I'm rich, but it doesn't buy happiness."
That's total crap! Money DOES buy happiness. It buys good food, massages, manicures, hair appointments, facials, plastic surgery (LOL) dinners out, vacations, theater tickets, beautiful furniture/clothes, entertaining, AND gifts! GIVING feels really great, (not that you have to give in monetary ways.
All of those are "happy making" things, at least for me, they are and when I can't do them and right now, I cannot do most of them, I'm also quite down and feel horribly deprived, especially when I here from so and so... "oh we just got back from our ski trip...or whatever" Hope all that didn't make you more depressed, but you're not alone. Just got back from installing son in therapeutic boarding school. Thank you for your well-wishes. Will be writing more, very soon. Great day and an incredible place. Feel very blessed.
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