Hub worked in professional sports. I won't mention what team or even what sport. That's not really important. It is simply the fact that he lived in that world that matters.
It is a world like nothing I had ever seen before. Through the years I never stopped being amazed at how people went out of their way to do things for these men. Gifts, expensive gifts, were thrown their way regularly. It was almost unheard of to pay for a meal when going out to eat. There were some guys who had people buying all their groceries for them and even cooking their meals. I do not mean that they hired someone to do these things. That would have made sense. No, this was something else entirely. This was young woman doing these things for them simply to be near them. For to be near them was to hold out a hope that perhaps they would notice you. Getting noticed gave them the brief hope of becoming a girlfriend and then a wife. (of course there were much, much worse things these women did to get noticed) There were even families who would do things for these men in hopes that they would take notice of their daughters. Parents who actually hoped for their daughter to get involved with an athlete so that they could have something to brag about to their friends.
It is a crazy world. One that I never felt comfortable being near, let alone being in.
Hub was not an athlete, he was a trainer. Somehow that made me feel secure about our relationship. At least at first. I knew women threw themselves at the athletes and I would never have gotten involved with one of them. I knew the risks, and it was one I never would have taken. Or at least I thought I hadn't taken the risk. Little did I know that women would try to climb the ladder, so to speak. It was like getting your foot into the door. You could sleep with someone working in the front office, then move up to the training staff, from there on to the players. That was a fact Hub didn't bother to mention to me, until it was too late.
I am getting a bit ahead of myself in this story though. All that comes later. First there were the good times.
It was by accident that I got involved with a man working in pro sports in the first place. It was the off season when I met him. He was simply a man I took interest in, and he took interest in me. It was after months of casually running into each other at different places that we had our first date. It was on that first date that I learned what he did for a living. I guess I would be lying if I said that I wasn't impressed a bit myself. While I certainly wasn't a groupie out to find a way to get in with the players, I was a fan of the team. The idea of going to games for free and of getting to go into the "off limits" areas of the arena was appealing as well. Still, it was more the man than the job that had my interest. He was good, kind, funny and he spent a great deal of time with me. Almost always wanting to be with me. He seemed perfect. A year later we were married.
I was stunned at first to be a part of this new way of life. Then I was impressed by it. Getting into any club in town without having to stand in line was awesome. Having the alcohol flow freely was great too. I do indeed mean free. We never once paid for a drink in all the times we went out. We went to expensive restaurants, ordered whatever we wanted off the menu and never paid for that either. It was an amazing life. Impressive for sure, but one I never really felt comfortable in.
I am, and have always been, a blue jeans and t-shirt kind of girl. I now had a husband telling me that I needed to dress in nice clothes and that skirts were preferable. I was supposed to look and act a certain way. For his sake I tried to change the way I looked. I bought the clothes I hated to wear, I wore high heal shoes although I struggled to walk in them, and I went to the salon to get my hair colored and styled. I made the physical changes. It was made clear to him in no uncertain terms though that I had no intention of changing who I really was. If he wanted someone who would act a certain way, then he should have found someone who was indeed that way. He fell in love with the real me and if that wasn't good enough around his friends and co-workers that was too damn bad. He actually apologized and told me I was right and that I should be me because that was the woman he loved.
I will continue this another time. I am to the point where I learned about his past and I am not up for telling that at the moment.
1 comment:
The day I started blogging was such a relief. I did it for myself and used it as a way to purge and process everything that had built up inside me for months. We all seem to need to go back to the beginning and unravel our stories for ourselves. Along the way we realize where we have dropped ourselves on the path to where we are now. And as we gather the parts of ourselves that we unwittingly discarded for others, we start to gain clarity and not feel so disjointed. We see glimpses of who we really are......and we start to remember who we are.
The world of athletes is a strange world indeed. Even at the lowest level in team sports. College football, soccer coach, you name it...people are freaks for athletes, their trainers and coaches.
My husband is an athlete - not pro anything, but he competes and is well known in the area as a top local athlete and he coached sports for years too. wins tons of awards. There is that whole freaky ass "God Thing" about it.
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