Here I am avoiding course work. I shouldn't be avoiding more than usual. It is late. Really late. Some of it was due Friday and some was due Sunday... today is Monday. I get a 10% deduction for each day late. So the Friday assignment is essentially fucked.
My grandma died last week. You can save the "i am so sorry for your loss" stuff. She was over a hundered years old so it wasn't really a shocker. Her quality of life was pretty shit at that point so death was likely a blessing. But the real reason to save the sympathy for me is because I didn't really know her. I could probably count on my fingers the number of times I actually recall having seen her. She was not one of those warm, fuzzy grandmas. She was basically just the woman who gave birth to my father. For that I am greatful because he is a great guy despite having been raised by her.
Anyway.... for my dad's sake I went to my grandmothers funeral. It meant driving five hours to get there on Thursday. Then there was all the time spent at the funeral and then drivin to the cemetary which was in a completely different town than the funeral so it was another 40mins or so just gettting there then standing in the cold and rain and then 40mins back to town. Then the pot-luck (or in this case pot-unlucky) lunch at the church. It ate up a large chunk of Friday. Then of course the rest of the weekend was spent spending time with family i have not seen in a long time and then the five hour drive home.
In the middle of all that I needed to get my course work done. It didn't happen. So now I should be doing it so I can get at least partial credit, but my mind is just not in it. I cannot concentrate so reading is not effective at all. I get to the end of a page and I remember nothing that I just read. I can't really write the papers if I don't retain the info from the chapters. So seriously.... I am just fucked right now in regard to these assignments.
I am so over this whole school thing anyway. I only have a couple of months left but I wish I were done now. I am burnt out. I am just over it!
2 comments:
I am so sorry for your father's loss and it sounds like it was a lifetime of loss from a woman who didn't have inside her... probably one or both of her parents didn't either.
But, I am sure that he appreciated having you there, for him. I remember when my father died. I was 27 and I cried, not for him, but for what he never was and now would never be, because it was too late. It was so sad and it was a bitterly cold day with a grave side ceremony given by a rabbi I had never met and who looked at me with such compassion, because of course, my father had just died. And yet I felt none of the sorrow that one should feel for the death of a parent and I felt quite weird about that, too.
I also have close relatives (first cousins) that I've only seen once in my entire life. wtf??? I've even reached out to them in recent years, however, they are not interested. oh well. what can you do?
Sorry, I'm going on and on about my own shit... haha!
Can you go to your professors and tell them that you had a death in the family and that you need a couple more days?
I ended up getting both assignments done on Tuesday. The one that was due Friday I got 18 out of 30 points on just because of late penalties. Otherwise she loved my paper. The one that was due Sunday I got 80 out of 100 again due strictly to late penalties. I now have a B in the class. This is my first time having a B. It is a high B so I am hoping I can bring my final grade up to a low A for the class. We'll see. I did ask about bereavement time for the assignments but apparantly arrangements have to be made before the assignments are due so it was too late. I can understand that policy, it makes sense. It just sucks to get poor grades on assignments I did well on. I just need to get 100% on EVERYTHING for the next four weeks and maybe I can salvage my record of straight A's in my college courses.
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