There are times when I have a strong desire to simply curl up into myself. To simply get lost in the deepest parts of my mind. My imagination. To pretend... no! to convince myself that life is what I truly desire it to be.
I lose myself in the dream of the nearly perfect life. Money is no issue there. And love...
Love is real. It is a wonderful mix of attraction, desire, passion, emotion, commitment, loyalty and respect. The fantasy of love. The kind that stories and movies all made us think was real when we were children growing up. Love that does not fade. Does not diminish over time. Love that stays as true and strong as it was from day one.
There is a reason the love you read of in stories or see in movies seems so perfect. It is the beginning. The story rarely follows the lovers down the long, hard road of life and time. If it did then we would see that love is not perfect. It isn't some dream come true that will make us happy and fulfilled for the rest of our lives. Love is a fantasy. A creation of our own minds.
Relationships are nothing to do with love. Not really. No, they are much more complex than that. Relationships are work and compromise. They involve sacrifice, empathy, and often forgiveness. There are good points and bad in relationships.
I have come to believe that a relationship is the true test of who we really are. When things get hard... will you quit? or will you work harder? will you run away? or will you stay and fight? will you forgive? or will you hold a grudge? will you compromise? or will you refuse to budge? will you face things head on? or will you curl up inside yourself?
What kind of person are you really??? Only our actions and reactions will tell.
1 comment:
Rocki Bottom,
It is so painful to realize that life is not as we want it and more painful still to understand that the lies we get through the media about love can never be achieved.
Have you heard of Dr. Robin Smith? She wrote a book, Lies at the Altar - The Truth About Great Marriages.
Here's how her introduction starts:
Let me begin with the truth. I have known what it is like to live a lie - to want so badly to keep a relationship that I made myself invisible. I have known the exhaustion of trying to hold up a facade that has no foundation.
Further excerpts -
"Truth is what holds my life together know. It is not an accessory. It is a necessity. as with a credit card, I never leave home without it. But I walked through the darkness of lies to get there. I would like to spare the pain of every woman who fears that she can only love if she erases her needs and makes herself small. I would like to shout it from the rooftops and mountain peaks that the truth is better, warmer stronger. It is the only way to have a great marriage or a great relationship."
"I was in a long relationship with a man whose addiction ruled our lives."
"As his lies blossomed, I was being killed softly. Life - real living -had stopped for me. The self I thought I had was evaporating. I was slowly but surely fading away. I no longer recognized myself - and how could I? I was no longer there."
"This book is my invitation to you to make a choice. But you must begin with an inner healing to achieve a wholeness that the world did not give you - and that once you have, no one can take away. It belongs to you, like a company in which you hold one hundred percent stock."
Dr. Robin Smith
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