I Live

I live. Yes, I live on. Not at rock bottom anymore. Nowhere above the surface though. I am still in the depths kicking my way upward. Up toward the distant glow that can only be the surface.  Sometimes I manage to force myself upwards and other times I sink a bit back down. I make progress though.  Slowly. Slowly. Slowly. I kick and push and fight my way upwards. At times the crushing weight of the murky depths threatens to rip the air from my lungs but I do not let it. There are times, like today, when I feel the pressure threatening me and I nearly give in. Then I look down at the jagged rocks below. I stare at them and remember the pain. It hurts.  The pain cuts as though I were still there trapped at the rocky bottom. I have to look away. I have to leave those rocks behind. They are still too recent a past for me. They still have the power to cut and then the salt of the watery depths seeps into my wounds and sting. Oh how it stings. And so I try not to look back. Not now. Not just yet. Someday. Someday I will look back and glorify in the progress but for now I simply avoid looking back.